Sorry ..

( To Allah we all belong and to Him we will return)

I'm sorry to hear the news brother. I have been away from the blog for long cause I was obliged for certain reasons. But hearing this, I could not but come back. It's the only way to offer my condolence to you and your dear family.

"May Allah enhance your recompense and be generous in your calamity and forgive the deceased and induce you with patience and multiply for us and for you recompense through patience." 

Hope you both doing good. I wish to hear at least a reply ..

I'm sorry again ..And I'm sorry to be away, too..but, be sure it wasn't an option.

My heart is with you and your mammy, I'm sorry brother.

I need you

I need you those days more than any time ago...

O Allah grants me strength.

It's our Fourth Anniversary!

I was thinking I will get a response for my last post, but I got none..I'm not disappointed, I understand..

Today is our 4th anniversary. Mixed feelings when I got the future email. I have been losing track lately of almost everything. But sure not our anniversary, but reading (4 years) was shocking for me. I remember quite well, that you walked away 3 weeks before our 3rd anniversary last year..and the images of the dinner I make for myself last year for the occasion are vivid in front of me, and I remember as well that I spent that night crying cause you promised to send me email and you didn't..

I cannot believe it. Things go so fast. It feels like it has been years not a year that we last separated. 

I cannot deny that I expected more in the email, but I'm still thankful. I know that you are not a wordy-person :) And it seems that you copied the same email for all my future emails  in the anniversary..today's email is the exact email of last year :)

 You just wonderful brother,,,

I wish to know more about you, how is your new life, and hopefully you are leading a comfortable, lovable life together. God bless you both. 

I don't have any of our correspondences before as I promised and sometimes I wish I didn't get rid of them. Sometimes I just miss those lovely days. I'm good and happy, though alhamdullah.

Sometimes I feel you become old :) not the same, you know. You are more knowledgeable now mash'Allah. I feel ashamed that I'm still the same silly girl I could not even complete my master degree :)

I saw your friend's baby. She is so adorable. I wish to kiss her :) she is totally sweet. I'm sure yours will be much cuter too :) If one day I get one, I will dress her those white tutu short skirt, she will look like an angel :) just like me :)

so, it's our anniversary ..I'm old, sitting in the park right now wondering how life is so fast and how we sometimes forget about our beloved persons. I wish you didn't forget me. I don't even know if you read those lines or not. But I will still write them and the fairy will take them to you :)

Yeah, brother. I throw a party for little orphans when you didn't reply to me last time and I dressed like the fairy :) They were so cute kids , I wish you could see them !

I cannot imagine if we were together today what will we do :) I know something crazy :) Maybe we meet at dad's home :F. Imagine :) But since we are not. I started to write about my life story, hopefully I will finish it before I die, and it will get published one day. All the names and places are changed. But the vivid real story of us and others are the same.

I don't know what to say. I'm just happy this moment. I'm happy for you, her and myself that we are good Insh'Allah and that one day under a huuuge blueberry tree, near that clear spring and the daises, you, her and me and your kids will gather in Heaven living a wonderful, everlasting life. But the swing in the tree is for me alone :) maybe I will let your kids, but not you or her :) It's mine :)

Thank you brother for all the wonderful things you did for me and all the kindness that you showered me.. God bless you both and fulfill all your dreams here and hereafter. I will pray for you both to the last breath. I promise brother.

Sealed with all love and respect.

yours, rema

Congratulation ! AYO!

I'm speechless, I'm truly speechless ! 

When I saw your photo, all the memories rushed back from our first meeting to the last goodbye I heard from you in June 2011. I cannot believe it is almost a year since the last time we talked to each other. But, indeed it is a wonderful journey! 

I have been there with you before you enroll and seeing you now finally achieving your dream is more than my heart can handle. I'm proud of you, I'm really are..you fulfilled the first step in accomplishing the dream which we both talked about endlessly..And I'm sure that soon you will be everything you wished you will be. 

You're a wonderful person, and that's why I'm sure that everything good in your life is a reward from Allah. Your moon-like face in that photo is nothing, but the "noor" Allah blesses His good servants. I ask Allah to grant you this "noor" now and hereafter and enlighten your path in the Judgment Day.

I could not stop crying when I saw that :) It was really the best thing happened to me in a while. Selfishly, I wished I'm there in the ceremony! But, I told myself that you look much happier than I've ever seen you before..I knew then that I was really a pain in the neck :) Allah bless her, and grant her the happiness, success and peace as she makes you happy. 

I really want to scream now ! ..saying " AYO" :F

Congratulation, Congratulation, Congratulation brother..

I'm happy, I'm so excited..I

May all your dreams and hers come true..And May Allah grant you all you wish and much more and gather me with you and my dear ones with the Prophet (peace be upon him) in Paradise ..

P.S. Can I send something there for the kids? :) If possible, which day is suitable :)

I'm Back...much happier !

It has been a while that I wrote here...I miss being here, I miss my comfy corner, where nobody truly knows me, but you.

I was not doing okay that last month which makes me stays away from here. But, I'm back now good and healthy as ever :)

There is much to catch up in this world around me, I feel I was more than a month away from people!

As a start nothing has updated in my private life, except that I'm turning more annoying to my mum:) I'm resuming my Quran Classes at home soon , and was babysitting my cousin's baby Jojo every morning :) And sure following updates from you brother ! Sometimes I really forget and sit writing you email, when I read something and didn't understand it :F Otherwise, I'm good now, I moved to my mum's place :F, you know how when you are not okay everybody loves you and you becomes so special and got all those millions Kinder surprise eggs, that's the most awesome feeling ever, believe me :F And being not okay I gained a permission from my uncle to travel ..YES, to go abroad. In two weeks I am going, but my stepfather says it is a surprise so I'm not sure where :) 

 I will anyway post photos Insh'Allah :)

BTW, when is the graduation season :) I thought it is April ?

I feel like there is alot in my head, but they are rushing every one wants to be written before, that there is a jam in my head :F It is not good to stay away from here for so long. I will try to write down everything in a daily basis to avoid this :) Even my sweet diary that I keep since I was 6, I stopped writing in it daily last month:( But i will try to compensate it :)

The last thing to say is that I'm happy now, I make a peaceful deal with myself to stay this way forever. Everyone has a down in her life, but she must stand up not only for herself, but also for those who loves her to make them happy :) And there is something keeps me excited and happy now that in a month I'm getting a future letter from you for our fourth anniversary :) I will make it special even if you are not around, but still it is special 'cause I know you this time for sure that you are happier happier than ever , which makes me one too !

For the second time :)

For the second time I get so sad thinking there is no tracking in my blog while actually I forgot to add the tracking code to the new template ! LOL

Happy to know you might really visit !

For you and her :)

Blue for you my little brother :)

My blog is turning blue for you.. I know we have never met, but I'm pretty sure you know me deep down in your heart and love me as much as I do :)

Autism Awarness Day

Today April 2, 2012 is "Autism Awareness Day". The world is blue for them. Those suffering from Autism is just like us, they feel the same as us, but they only find it hard to express their feelings. Those autistic kids are our brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews; We have to do our best to help them adjust to their situations and support them emotionally !

In Riaydh, they are holding a party for autistic kids, I am going there in a hope to see my little brother. I miss him so much. He is always there in my mind, but for today the whole world, including mine is turning blue...Just for you my dear. I miss you so much :)